Blog Posts

Tinder or 2.0 encounters

Pretty common nowadays right?! It’s almost weird to start talking to people in real life (maybe because I go out in Switzerland haha).

My point of view before downloading the app: ‘WTF?! Is that really what society is like now?! It became too hard to meet people face to face?!’ It made me angry even to talk about it with some of my friends who were on it.

But then I realized you can’t really talk about something you don’t know. Back in October last year it already came to my mind to register JUST to be able to write about it. So one Sunday evening when one of my friend pressured me to sign-up, I did.

At the beginning, I was honest with guys, saying I’m doing an experiment to write a blog post. I really didn’t want to fall into the game. I wanted it to be ‘professional’ kinda but deep down if I could find the one in the meantime, it wouldn’t have bothered me. It’s my romantic side.

My last week at work before my Yoga Summer was super busy taking Dance, Yoga, and Crossfit classes, lots of partying and that’s when my perspective shifted. The whole story started with a super-like from my side and the rest is history. I was going to write about the different dates I had and my brief amazing summer romance. I could actually write an entire book about this, it would be really fun BUT I won’t go into details here. You are gonna have to wait for the novel 😉

What I learned:

Yes you can meet awesome people who have the same interests and vibe as you. It’s a fast and easy way to get to know people when you just moved to a new city or when you are traveling. In some cases it might even end by a wedding!

Most people I met though, want to be free because they are all exploring the world. They want to see everything and do everything ALONE or with friends. Committing is so 20th century! The millennials are very self-centered (me included I have to admit). I personally think we’ll notice a change in about 10 years. But for now forget Prince Charming and focus on something else, especially if you live in a city. He will come, in a decade or so.

Be mindful who you share your energy with. Make sure you switch on your intuition. Sometimes it’s hard to notice things when you are fully into the situation. When in doubt, call your BFF! (valid in any life situations).
Give yourself time to get to know the person. It doesn’t mean texting forever before meeting but maybe going on different dates with the SAME person? Just a thought. Remember how it was when people met in normal life? It used to take weeks or months before they’d realize that there was a connection! Too old school?! I’m gonna go even further. Here it comes: for me, meeting more than one person/ week was too much. Even a different person every week was too much. I didn’t have time to process my emotions/ the experience but was already having another date. It felt odd especially when something happened. That’s the reason why I deleted the app. I couldn’t deal with fast-paced feelings.

It’s very easy to fall into the game of swiping and texting 10 different people at the same time, meeting 4 different guys within the same week, etc. We live in a world of distraction. We love to be busy so we don’t have to go inwards cause it’s scary and uncomfortable. It’s easier to party all week long than to sit still for 5 min. Tinder can be just another distraction resulting in superficial relationships if not used with awareness. So like everything, the key might be moderation.

Another lesson: the outside world is a reflection of your inner world. Ever heard that? I knew that concept but it can be a difficult one to get. It only makes sense when you start finding examples in your own life. You know when you become angry when your friend is always late or when your boyfriend doesn’t clean the apartment? Whatever is triggering or bothering you is because you have or used to have the exact same pattern. Pretty disturbing right?! This week I found one of my personality trait through one of my dates. He did express out loud what I was only thinking in other situations. A powerful realization and a pattern I’ll be working on.

One more thing: you never know what’s gonna happen. Don’t draw conclusions too fast, don’t be impatient, let life surprise you, be open and find your shades of grey, everything isn’t black and white (something I need to learn too).

In total I had the app for about a month. Maybe not a long time but enough for me. It’s been a great teacher!

And finally just for fun:

The different guy profiles on Tinder:
– the picture of his car
– the picture of his abs
– often both of the above are on the same profile (without wanting to generalize)
– the picture of his dog/cat (because he knows girls like animals)
– the traveler on a beach in a tropical paradise
– the guy in a suit with an amazing job
– the party boy with all his friends on the picture (so you cannot really tell which one he is)
– the party boy drinking and smoking
– the guy with his girlfriend in an open relationship (hopefully)
– the bathroom selfie

The profiles I tended to like:
– Original/ beautiful pix. Nature is always a good idea.
– Original text
– Humor is a winner
– Or sometimes long curly hair will do 😉

I hope nobody got offended!

What’s your experience with dating apps/ sites?!

 

Are you in Robot mode?

IMG_3505.JPGHow do you start your day?

Morning routine #1

Waking up wishing you had one more hour in bed (at least) > Making your way to the bathroom and while looking in the mirror thinking you probably should have spent less time on IG the night before and/ or drunk less wine > Rushing out the door without having had breakfast > Wondering why time goes faster in the morning > Crossing your fingers for green lights because you will get to work right on time or probably a few minutes late as usual.

Vs.

Morning routine #2

Woken up by sunlight > Making your hot lemon water > Taking time to read, write and/or move > Cooking your savory breakfast packed with greens and proteins > Starting to work from home or going to work without rushing.

Most of us have experienced scenario #1 at some point and let’s be honest it’s exhausting. If you don’t know any better it feels normal but as soon as you lived #2 for an extended period of time, you won’t be able to do #1 anymore. When I find myself in ‘rushed mode’ for a few days, it usually takes me the same number of days to find my energy back. The more I do, the more I will have to not do plus do things that feed my soul and only THEN creativity will come back and realizations will pop up. Never underestimate the power of time-off!

We live in a very fast-paced environment where it’s ‘cool’ to be busy, it’s cool to work long hours, party hard and sleep very little. But all those things makes us less and less human I find. More stiff in the head and the body. Totally disconnected from our environment and ourselves Running from one place to the next. Phone in one hand, something to drink or eat in the other. But what if the ‘go slow mode’ was the new black? What if less was more?! It doesn’t mean doing nothing and being lazy but maybe being more efficient by focusing on what matters the most. Stopping the multitasking and getting clear on priorities.

All around me though, I’m noticing people launching themselves into new career paths and lifestyles that are more in tune with who they are, forgetting what’s been expected from them their whole life, forgetting what society expects from them, and just going for it. One of my favorite example is a dear friend of mine who became an amazing painter because she took time-off to just be, because she went for it. She is such an inspiration for me. Yes Anne-So it’s you 😉

I think the hardest part is to actually start and let go of the fear of what might happen if we fail – even though there is no such thing. We all have hidden talents. Let’s take time to find it/them! Let’s experiment without getting attached to the results!

It can feel totally awkward to start something new if we are too much in our mind and not enough in the feeling body. We might even wonder why we are there (me at crossfit every single time haha) but if we stick to it >>> magic will happen, we’ll learn so much,  we’ll find new talents, new ideas, more creativity & more freedom.

The uncomfortable will become enjoyable and the comfort zone will expand to farther edges.

My advices for this Month:

  • go for this girlfriend date and don’t think you are wasting your time because chances are: a lot of genius ideas will come out of the conversation
  • take time for a bath or a massage without feeling guilty
  • start a music, dance, yoga, any class
  • do one thing that feels uncomfortable (maybe the above dot)
  • notice the way you feel emotionally and physically when you work and compare it to when you have time off and do the things you love
  • ask yourself if you are living the kind of life you want

And remember:

Energy flows where attention goes

Your thoughts create your reality

No dream is big enough, trust and believe

Less is more

How habits & hobbies can transform or sustain your personality

A couple months ago I discovered Crossfit because I started teaching Yoga at a Crossfit center. I was curious about what the students were doing and wanted to adapt the Yoga classes to their needs. At the beginning I was attending only once a week but this week I registered for a bi-weekly 6 months membership!

My friends cannot believe I do this because ‘this is not me’. In fact I cannot believe myself I am doing this. And to be honest it’s not pleasant at all. I am always really excited to go there, then once the class starts I wonder: ‘WTF am I doing here’ and afterwards I am really happy, I feel proud and strong. But by no means is it easy!

What first started as curiosity ended up as a new addiction (but the good kind of addiction). It gives me physical energy obviously but also the strength to do the things I didn’t dare or was too lazy to do before. It helps me get things done. AND it helps me in my Yoga practice, i am stronger and feel my body more (because I am sore all the time haha nah just kidding). Yesterday when I started crying after class, I realized it also make emotions come up. Maybe something to do with pushing the limits, maybe something to do with my childhood, maybe something else. Who said Body and Mind were not connected?!

Noticing those shifts in my life, it got me thinking: habits, hobbies, jobs, relationships, pretty much everything you do and everybody you interact with, plays an important role in who you become and what you think. I don’t want to focus on big changes like career and relationships here but on the tiny simple changes you can incorporate into your daily life that will help you become a better version of you.

For example, I am extremely Yin & Vata: always relaxed, going with the flow, indecisive, not grounded, etc. It was totally okay to be this way for the past 10 years but today I need to be more Yang & Pitta, to make sh** happen! This is exactly what Crossfit is helping me with. As said in my previous blog post I also decided to get an apartment which helps with the ‘not grounded’ part and on the diet side, I eat more animal proteins now. Food is also important: ‘you are what you eat’.

It works also with daily tasks: wanna be more organized at work? Start making your bed in the morning, cleaning the dishes after each meal, etc. Simple small changes will have a big impact in your life. It’s difficult to believe but it’s worth giving it a try!

We are all different, notice your own patterns.

It’s all about finding YOUR balance.

We tend to do what we feel most comfortable with. What if you started something new today, next week, next month that’s way out of your comfort zone?! It will make you evolve for sure and you might end up liking it or getting good at it (or not), the result doesn’t matter that much!

Ask yourself those questions:

How do I want to feel?

What’s the best version of me?

How will my life look like in 2 years? 5 years? 10 years?

What do I want to achieve in this life time?

2017 the year of change

NOT what I wanted to talk about in my second blog post, like AT ALL. In fact I had written it already way back in October and it went more like: ‘The first steps of making a dream happen’. It might come out later on, who knows. I kept postponing posting because something didn’t feel quite right, until I wrote what follows.

It all started with those posts you see on instagram:

‘Do the thing that scares you the most’

It took me a while to understand what it was for me. I wish it would have been: dropping everything and hoping on a plane to travel around the world but unfortunately it isn’t.

In fact my fears are quite the opposite: settling down, taking responsibilities, committing, making a decision, putting myself out there…

Traveling is what I’ve been doing for the past 10 years, coming ‘home’ to work and make enough money to leave again. Not worrying too much about what I was doing as long as I could save enough to be away for a few months again. Now reflecting back, I feel like my twenties are/were for exploring, about the WHERE and my thirties are going to be more about the WHAT & WHY.

WHAT vs WHERE

For years it was all about: Wanderlust (and still is just a little bit) and having fun!

Settling down was a concept from another planet. The result/ the way: a nomadic life,  which became outdated for me this year. Constantly changing everything can be exhausting as much as it is exciting. But nobody talks about that on Instagram!

I have been debating on going vs staying the whole Winter and finally opted for the latter one. For me this year is about getting my own nest (for the peace of mind I get from grounding down) and creating my own business (for fulfilment reasons) doing the things I love which involve healthy food, yoga, self-care and more. It’s really about creating a life where Monday is not the worst day of the week.

I saw myself going this way for a long time but only saw it happening in a far far away future. Sometimes we know exactly what we should be doing but we postpone it because either A) we have no clue how we are supposed to make it happen or B) we are too scared or C) both. So we find excuses or other things we (think we truly) want to do and get sidetracked…

This year is encouraging us to achieve those projects we have been vaguely thinking of. I see it all around me: pregnant girlfriends, people moving, new perspective on things, trying out new hobbies and finding new passions, creating businesses, etc…

If you are still struggling with decision making, meditate on it, the answer might not come right away but it will come at the right time. Deep inside, we know what really matters, but the mind has the tendency to trick us and we get overwhelmed with the Xillion opportunities and possibilities we have.

Listen to your body for signs, does it feel contracting or expanding when you think about a new project? It doesn’t matter if you don’t know how to get there, just visualize it in details and it will come to life!

Things change

Dreams change

We evolve

We get older

Maybe wiser

What are your biggest fears?

What are your intentions for 2017?

What are YOUR WHAT & WHY?